59 Confessions of a Writer

  • sometimes I chew gum instead of brush my teeth
  • I’ve sat in an office chair naked until the chair is wet with sweat
  • I didn’t read Harry Potter until like two years ago
  • I’ve never read Toni Morrison
  • I’ve spent seven years on my FIRST manuscript
  • sometimes I feel like if I don’t get published I will be a failure and I’ve wasted my time
  • sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough with my life, e.g. not eating healthy enough, not working out enough, not writing enough, not trying hard enough, not praying enough, not being enough
  • I wish for the fortune of J.K. Rowling but not the fame
  • I sometimes feel inferior when I tell people I have no college degree (just an Associates)
  • I don’t want a college degree (contradictory, I know)
  • I believe a critic/reviewer that only has bad reviews is a poor reviewer and probably a poorer person
  • I spend more time naked than dressed
  • my cat hates me and only me
  • my dog loves me and everyone else
  • the last time I wore makeup was . . . I don’t even remember
  • sometimes the only reason I want to get published is to prove to my critics that I do in fact know how to write
  • self-publishing is a great option and it will be my last one, just my personal choice
  • I like The Hunger Games but I do not like Katniss. My favorite part was when Peeta was “brainwashed” to hate Katniss and told her horrible things about her, all of which were true. I loved Peeta in that moment.
  • I do not believe or follow horoscopes but I am still a hardcore Virgo by definition
  • I practice unwritten dialogue between characters aloud
  • When I climb my stairs in the dark I feel like hands will reach up and grab my feet (vivid imagination=great writing ideas and irrational fears)
  • I spend more money on books than I do clothes
  • when I don’t know what to write my next blog about, lists like this happen
  • I enjoy writing more than reading
  • I’ve read Twilight and I didn’t like it (but props to Stephanie Meyer for writing a book that millions do like/love/feel passionately about in some way)
  • there are some people I have decided not to listen to ever when it comes to critiques about my story or my writing
  • when my friends say they haven’t read my book yet I believe it’s because they started it, hated it, and couldn’t bear to tell me, instead of just that they have normal busy lives
  • I hate having to explain why being on Twitter and babbling on a blog are actual work
  • I also hate having to explain that reading is also work
  • I love it when my hairdresser (who I see like every six months) remembers that I write and always asks me how it’s going
  • I hate explaining “how it’s going”
  • this question was invented by Satan: Have you gotten published yet?
  • I get nervous about writing dark, gritty, and sexual because my family will read it. I think they will think that I am some kind of twisted sicko, but I’m just a regular person
  • I really enjoy writing dark and gritty and creepy and weird
  • rejection letters make me question everything about my writing and myself
  • my days of writing will become so quiet that when I sneeze it startles my dog
  • I make a to-do list and the only thing I accomplish on it is “write words”
  • I am a Panster
  • I envy sixteen-year-olds who publish best-sellers
  • then I see that their mother or father work in publishing and I feel slightly better about it
  • writing conferences suck the life out of me. I need a few days to recover
  • my keyboard is encrusted with food
  • my husband can hear me typing from upstairs behind closed doors
  • I tell people, “I’m a writer.” But I can’t wait to say, “I’m an author.”
  • I am a fickle, fickle woman when it comes to movies, tv, and books. I’m not in it for cheap thrills. There has to be good writing, good plot, and intriguing characters. (Tried watching Pretty Little Liars and couldn’t stomach it)
  • I’m not necessarily starting to feel old (I’m only twenty-seven) but I’m at a point in my life where I’m starting to realize that I am aging, and every moment I spend not working toward my goals, is another minute/hour/day/year that it will take to achieve them
  • my favorite books will never be made into movies and I kind of appreciate that Hollywood won’t screw them up
  • sometimes I forget to eat/pee/shower/hydrate
  • I wear my bathrobe an unseemly amount of times between washes
  • I worry this list is too long, then I worry it is too short
  • I can’t listen to music and write. I need silence.
  • I want to be on a list of banned books
  • sometimes I want to scream, “I can TOO start a sentence with AND!”
  • I sort of enjoy how difficult and complex the publishing process is because once I get there it’ll be so much sweeter
  • when people put air quotes around the word “working” when they ask me how writing is going, I want to slap them until my hand is numb
  • every once in a while I read a book that is horrible and get angry that it is published and I am not
  • I want people to get quotes from my book tattooed on them
  • just because I write it does not mean I personally believe it
  • it is a rare day when I brush my hair

 

 

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